bad day and memories
I had a absolutely terrible day full of pain and frustration. I have terrible mid back pain, and have had it for almost 15 years. The doctors say it's disc degeneration. Regardless, it hurts almost all the time.
The medication I take helps somewhat, but I can never escape the pain completely. The pain grinds you down, day after day, always on your mind. You look around your house at a yard that needs mowed, or a sink fixed, or something heavy carried, and you say to yourself "oh man, this is really going to suck". Some days it's just too much to handle and the despair sets in.
I found myself thinking about 10 years in the future, (something we try not to think about) and how was I going to endure this stupid crappy back the rest of my life. Then without fully realizing it, I thought about how, 10 years from now, Nora wouldn't be here.
The enormity of that thought slammed into me. The tears came so quickly, but I let them come, let them pour from my eyes and felt their warmth as they ran down my cheeks.
I thought about how perfect this time in our lives really is. I thought about the last few days, with Nora watching the same youtube video at bedtime and laughing until she was out of breath, then looking over at me to make sure I was laughing too. I thought about listening to Jaime read books to Nora after I finished chest therapy. I thought about the three of us, together, playing Disney infinity or Skylanders each evening, laying together and howling with laughter over something hilarious that just happened. I thought about how much I loved my wife and daughter
I never want these moments to end. I wanted to freeze time to this these moments forever. I would gladly take the back pain each day, just to have this time together as a family.
The tears wouldn't stop, I needed my wife. The one person I turn to, the one who understands all this. Together, we laid in bed, talking and crying until we were spent. Finally bringing the bad day to a close
I was making another video, and came across these old pictures. These were taken shortly after returning home from Wisconsin, where Nora had her G-tube placed. This was when the doctors tested Nora and determined she had lost her swallow. The Wisconsin trip at 7-months old, was the last time Nora had eaten by mouth. Her muscle strength back then, was amazing.Article gallery